Dog

April 28
and the sun was shining
birds chirping
a perfect spring day
perfect for a big adventure
with a perfectly willing playmate

I snuck out
slithered out
of my collar and you
chewed right through that
yellow rope, so easily
it was like
it was meant to be
so many directions -cutting through a neighbors yard
a cat lives here,
a dog used to live here,
and here's a bird that died in the winter
tucked under some bushes
but
we've got better things to do and see

I'll race you across the schoolyard
I'll beat you to the fence
and we're laughing
as only dogs can laugh
and we've not a care in the world
coz we're on a big adventure

***
April 28
I got up and took a pisss
at down on my sofa
lit my first cigarette
sipping my water
scratching at my underwear
swiped a hand through
slept in hair

fair bit of traffic on the street today
more than usual
*yawn*
was that a bus?!?
third drag off the cigarette,
the first cigarette of the day

Screech!
Yip Bark Yip Yip YIP
Thump
Thumpthump
screeeeeeech!
HOOOOOWWWWWWWWLLLLLLL
bark bark bark

I'm at the window
then I'm in the bedroom looking for pants
then I'm out the door
shaking
then I'm standing by you
watching a truck turn around in the middle of the block
and noticing a garbage truck stopped at the end of the street
and seeing your friend dance around you and

You

Are still alive
Even after...all that.

the man in the truck comes and pets you
tells you that you are a good dog
and smiles at you
traffic keeps going by, a bus, a few cars
your big adventure friend stands close head slightly cocked, or
circles you, barking lightly
the garbage truck driver comes, shaking too, and says
he's called the humane society
I say I'll wait
I ask the other guy to bring you to the grass
off the pavement
off the road
I would do it myself but I'm shaking paralyzed numb
with the cars still whizzing by
annoyed with a detour that brings another bus down the street
and

You
lay there panting, looking hopeful
seemingly without pain
eyes still dancing
with big adventure soon to be continued
"if I could just get up"

***

April 28
and her response time is impeccable
she wheels onto the street
takes command
asks for assistance and gets it immediately
says she has no time for your friend
who is left bewildered
circling the van where they've placed
You
and
You
now resting in the van
tired and she leaves to who knows where
and the man in the truck says
I'm going to be late for work and he leaves
and two kids offer to take your friend
to their house
where their dad is sure to let him stay
for a while
I go back in the house
and my cigarette is still burning,
two good drags left on it.

***

May 2
2:13 am
I'm still mourning the loss here -
so many detours to get to tears
and still, so very very helpless
You, unknown,
gently remembered and honored
for your love of big spring adventures

***

xoxo
lili